Playlist
by Fade131
Summary: A set of moments in Sasuke's life, in no particular order.  Originally posted 8.17.2007


1. Photograph

The picture he used to keep, folded and hidden, was so old and worn that it had simply fallen apart at the creases. It was a duplicate of the family picture; in it, his parents are smiling, his father's arm around his mother, neither watching the camera but instead focused on their two sons, he in his brother's arms, tugging on his hair. He had taped it back together, and slipped it into the frame beneath the perfect copy. Now that he's leaving, he keeps a different picture with him.

_Kakashi makes then stand in a row, Sasuke and Naruto on either side of Sakura, scowling as the jounin leans over them, his hands on their heads. The camera flashes before Naruto manages to smile._

2. You Still Touch Me  
>Lying in bed, he wonders for the millionth time if he's really made the right decision. He's realized that he can lie there all night and argue the issue in circles until the first rays of dawn slide across the floor, and the others in the compound start to wake. He knows it isn't healthy, but neither does he want to sleep, because it brings the inevitable dreams of what he's left behind – what he could still have, if only he had chosen another path.<p>

_Naruto's hands are warm as they slip around Sasuke's waist and pull him closer, and Sasuke can feel the other's smile against the back of his neck before they both fall into peaceful sleep._

3. Haunted  
>The thought is vague and barely registers through his pain-filled mind that he's felt this before, known this agony before, but it was different then. It slips away again as painted nails drag across his chest, leaving burning red gouges in their wake, and another pain fills him and he doesn't want to think, doesn't want to know ever again, because they're supposed to be fighting, they're supposed to be enemies, and this shouldn't be happening, not to him, not again.<p>

_Itachi suppresses a smile as Sasuke screams before lapsing into unconsciousness, trapped in the nightmare-world of his design. Bending down, he presses their lips together in a surprisingly soft kiss before vanishing into the night._

4. If You Could Only See  
>She is nothing if not persistent, but he only admits this to himself. He will never again let her see the irritation her advances produce, because she is his friend, in a way, and he doesn't want to hurt her. He just doesn't understand how she can still be so adamant, how any of them can be, when he's so obviously with someone. Unless, of course, they had all decided not to notice. That was something she might do – choose to ignore his infatuation with another because it suited her better than admitting her hopes were baseless. But he just can't look at her that way, any more than he can get her to see what he sees.<p>

_Naruto turns to him, and it's all Sasuke can do not to get lost in those brilliant blue eyes – even though he hates such sentimental, foolish thoughts. He almost misses it, so lost in his own thoughts, when he says, "I love you."_

5. Why  
>Pain lances through his neck, across his shoulders, curling down his back, and he knows he's done it wrong, knows just what he should've done – but he can't correct it now, can't move, can barely think through this haze, and he's sorry already that he made the mistake, even though he'll never say it. He hopes that it's numbing him, this torment, because then it would be worth it and perhaps he wouldn't mind so much that it feels like his skin is burning as the curse mark on his neck throbs with agony.<p>

_Orochimaru sighs softly as Sasuke sways on his feet, blinking rapidly to refocus. He gives the boy only a moment or two to recover before motioning him onward. "Again."_

6. Days Go By  
>He has it for lunch at least once a week, even though he can't stand it, even though it's even worse here then it was at home. He can't help it, somehow – it's become a sort of ritual, because every bite reminds him of other times and other places. Sunshine and smiles. Petty arguments and soft kisses. Long nights and worries and inconsequential cares and hard missions and pain and joy and happiness and love. He'd have it every day, if only just to remember that. He might die without that.<p>

_Sasuke doesn't eat more than a few bites of the ramen before he stops, wrapped in his own thoughts. Kabuto, ever the observant one, notes the strange behaviour for further investigation. Someday, he thinks, he'll figure Sasuke out._


End file.
